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The 12 Steps & 12 Traditions

REFERENCE

The 12 Steps

The 12 Traditions

I recommend this app if you are interested in learning more about the 12 steps, the history of AA and the 12 traditions.

The 12 Steps



1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol — that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

4. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

5. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.


READ MORE ABOUT AMENDS

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

The 12 Traditions

1. Each member of Alcoholics Anonymous is but a small part of a great whole. A.A. must continue to live or most of us will surely die. Hence our common welfare comes first. But individual welfare follows close afterward.

2. For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority–a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience.

3. Our membership ought to include all who suffer from alcoholism. Hence we may refuse none who wish to recover. Nor ought A.A. membership ever depend upon money or conformity. Any two or three alcoholics gathered together for sobriety may call themselves an A.A. group, provided that, as a group, they have no other affiliation.

4. With respect to its own affairs, each A.A. group should be responsible to no other authority than its own conscience. But when its plans concern the welfare of neighboring groups also, those groups ought to be consulted. And no group, regional committee, or individual should ever take any action that might greatly affect A.A. as a whole without conferring with the Trustees of the General Service Board. On such issues our common welfare is paramount.

5. Each Alcoholics Anonymous group ought to be a spiritual entity having but one primary purpose–that of carrying its message to the alcoholic who still suffers.

6. Problems of money, property, and authority may easily divert us from our primary spiritual aim. We think, therefore, that any considerable property of genuine use to A.A. should be separately incorporated and managed, thus dividing the material from the spiritual. An A.A. group, as such, should never go into business. Secondary aids to A.A., such as clubs or hospitals which require much property or administration, ought to be incorporated and so set apart that, if necessary, they can be freely discarded by the groups. Hence such facilities ought not to use the A.A. name. Their management should be the sole responsibility of those people who financially support them. For clubs, A.A. managers are usually preferred. But hospitals, as well as other places of recuperation, ought to be well outside A.A.- and medically supervised. While an A.A. group may cooperate with anyone, such cooperation ought never go so far as affiliation or endorsement, actual or implied. An A.A. group can bind itself to no one.

7. The A.A. groups themselves ought to be fully supported by the voluntary contributions of their own members. We think that each group should soon achieve this ideal; that any public solicitation of funds using the name of Alcoholics Anonymous is highly dangerous, whether by groups, clubs, hospitals, or other outside agencies; that acceptance of large gifts from any source, or of contributions carrying any obligation whatever, is unwise. Then too, we view with much concern those A.A. treasuries which continue, beyond prudent reserves, to accumulate funds for no stated A.A. purpose. Experience has often warned us that nothing can so surely destroy our spiritual heritage as futile disputes over property, money, and authority.

8. Alcoholics Anonymous should remain forever non-professional. We define professionalism as the occupation of counseling alcoholics for fees or hire. But we may employ alcoholics where they are going to perform those services for which we may otherwise have to engage nonalcoholics. Such special services may be well recompensed. But our usual A.A. “12th Step” work is never to be paid for.

9. Each A.A. group needs the least possible organization. Rotating leadership is the best. The small group may elect its secretary, the large group its rotating committee, and the groups of a large metropolitan area their central or intergroup committee, which often employs a full-time secretary. The trustees of the General Service Board are, in effect, our A.A. General Service Committee. They are the custodians of our A.A. Tradition and the receivers of voluntary A.A. contributions by which we maintain our A.A. General Service Office at New York. They are authorized by the groups to handle our over-all public relations and they guarantee the integrity of our principle newspaper, the A.A. Grapevine. All such representatives are to be guided in the spirit of service, for true leaders in A.A. are but trusted and experienced servants of the whole. They derive no real authority from their titles; they do not govern. Universal respect is the key to their usefulness.

10. No A.A. group or member should ever, in such a way as to implicate A.A., express any opinion on outside controversial issues–particularly those of politics, alcohol reform, or sectarian religion. The Alcoholics Anonymous groups oppose no one. Concerning such matters they can express no views whatever.

11. Our relations with the general public should be characterized by personal anonymity. We think A.A. ought to avoid sensational advertising. Our names and pictures as A.A. members ought not be broadcast, filmed, or publicly printed. Our public relations should be guided by the principle of attraction rather than promotion. There is never need to praise ourselves. We feel it better to let our friends recommend us.

12. And finally, we of Alcoholics Anonymous believe that the principle of anonymity has an immense spiritual significance. It reminds us that we are to place principles before personalities; that we are actually to practice a genuine humility. This to the end that our great blessings may never spoil us; that we shall forever live in thankful contemplation of Him who presides over us all.

Yuck!!!

I feel so blessed and relieved that when I walk by a case display like this, my brain says “yuck!”

While I was never really a beer drinker, wine was my preferred poison, and I also feel “yuck” when I pass wine / liquor stores.

It’s hard to travel around cities like New York City, and Boston without breathing, the constant width of marijuana, since it is now legal.

I completely disagree that this was made legal. However, the legal channels have become important since illicit drug deals are even lacing marijuana with fentanyl and other foreign additives.

If you are interested, you should view this list of all the states that allow legalize marijuana. Such a shame because I do believe it can be a gateway drug for many people.

Everything Falls Apart

Eventually, it does all fall apart. Realizing it is the first challenge one must blast through. 💥

REFERENCE

The 12 Steps

The 12 Traditions

I recommend this app if you are interested in learning more about the 12 steps, the history of AA and the 12 traditions.

Step #1

“We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol, and that our lives had become unmanageable.”

Get started!

Read the AA 12 Steps & 12 Traditions

Narcissistic Tendencies

While a narcissist can be an alcoholic, the alcoholic is not necessarily a narcissist, but rather displays narcissistic behavior to protect himself from the roadblocks in the way of satisfying one’s addiction.

Despite every best effort to try to understand , those that are not alcoholics can never understand the internal changes that we experience.

The non-alcoholic individual cannot understand that we are not necessarily narcissists. Our behavior may have been narcissistic because we had to protect our ability to deliver upon our addictions. Our minds demanded that.

I Love AA Meetings

What? Are you crazy? Is not AA for a bunch of losers? Nope!

REFERENCE

The 12 Steps

The 12 Traditions

I recommend this app if you are interested in learning more about the 12 steps, the history of AA and the 12 traditions.

I find AA meetings, incredibly helpful and fascinating because it seems that the “Big Book” and the 12 steps relate to my experiences in every single meeting. This is because they are supposed to be incredibly relevant and beneficial to all participants in ALL meetings one chooses to attend. The “Big Book” was written brilliantly and the principles are as perfect as they could get. In fact, the big book has hardly been rewritten since it was originally published in 1938 by Bill W, the founder of AA. I do not even know Bill‘s last name but that’s the point of AA, it is anonymous.

Now, when we reviewing different passages in each meeting and discuss how we relate to the words, it has run through for me in every meeting. Some of this is confirmation bias because again, the “Big Book” and the 12 steps & Traditions have been written with purpose and have no “filler content,“ whatsoever. It is always engaging and enthralling and when I leave an AA meeting, I feel relieved because I have openly discussed with other addicts and alcoholics the feelings that I have as they relate to the program and , the selected passages in that respective meeting. I was so hesitant to go to my first AA meeting which was a feeling that I had for many years before the ultimatum that hit my life.

“Who wants to go with those losers?”

“I do not have the kind of problems that people in AA have.” Nope! You certainly have the same problems that manifest in different ways for each individual.

“I can do this on my own and I do not desire to share with others what I am feeling. That’s for

wimps!” Nope!

I have been able to relate to every single person in every single AA meeting that I have attended wherever I am.

Socioeconomic status, career, age, blue collar or white collar does not matter because our brains all function in the same way.

In my first couple of meetings, I looked judgmentally upon the others in the group that perhaps had no teeth or were homeless, or had been in jail or had multiple DWI’s, which I was very fortunate to have.

One is inclined to think, “This person must have it worse than me.” Nope! Our brains function in the same way.

Drop the judgment, get to the meetings and put your efforts in. The time flies by and the content is invaluable to one’s recovery.

READ MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

Reflection, Not Projection

The alcoholic lacks self-awareness while imbibing and the disease often comes with anger at oneself which relates results in depression, and the expression of ones suffering on others, which is known as projection. Projection is awful, because you dump your problems onto to others, and make them feel terrible often without even realizing what you are doing and how it is hurting others, but it makes you feel a little bit better somehow. The alcoholic does not even have to be a mean person to hurt someone else, but often the drinking behaviors manifest outwardly in this type of destructive behavior.

Mindfulness, self-awareness and reflection on one’s feelings, are very effective in my case at reducing or completely eliminating projection onto others.

Unfortunately, it is the closest to us that bear the brunt of our projection, because we take for granted that they love us and they are there through the good and the bad. The ability to hold things together breaks down and alcoholics unwinds quite effectively.

Journaling & Self-care

Since I have known my wife, I have been in awe of her ability to focus on self-care and part of that for her was journaling in the morning. I refused to do journaling, and have discovered that it was because I was afraid to face the true feelings that I had, and face the realities that I have created for myself as part of my addiction and recovery. journaling can take on different meetings, and in my case writing, this blog serves as journaling.

However, using a physical pen and paper is more valuable psychologically, because the things that you write are more impactful and creative and committed to memory then when typing out those same feelings. my handwriting is terrible! As with my teenage daughter, I realize that you’ve got to keep that journal private, and stole it away, where nobody can find it, because once feelings are hard to understand someone else.

And so I journal, er blog, on…

IOP

intensive outpatient therapy

the most important follow onto AA is to rehab is AA or NA, depending on your poison and attending attending an intensive outpatient therapy program. I feel like the intensive outpatient program is reinforcing of material that we learned at rehab, but that reinforcement is critical to an ongoing recovery. I learned that if one does rehab and then IOP and then sticks with AA or NA the chances of success in your recovery will be 92%, a 92% failure if you do not follow the programs all the way through. I’m not saying this as a detractor from somebody going to rehab and stopping there, because I think the outcomes will be extremely positive, but I do believe that attending meetings as frequently as possible after rehab is critical. I’m lucky that I do not have cravings at this point but I have to be careful because I’m in what’s called pink.. The pink. To the time when when it’s feeling optimistic and powerful, but still in a stage of caution because once the pink period ends, and you think it’s OK to pick up a drink, then your toast. When I left rehab, I pursued a philosophy of cautiously optimistic, which I find is helpful, because optimism is great, but making sure that the optimism doesn’t parlay back into picking up poison is important to be aware of.

“Recovery” vs. Reality

I was so proud of one of my fellow rehab attendees. Well, I was proud of ALL of them for their approaches to recovering from their unique struggles.

At every meeting, before each of us speaks, we say our name, and that we are an “addict” or “alcoholic,” or both.

A new guy showed up at rehab and would say, “I am [name_omitted] and I am in “recovery” when introducing himself. RECOVERY!

But saying “recovery” is not enough. He knew this, and by his last day at rehab, he confidently said “I am [name_omitted] and I am an alcoholic!” This was his turning point and we were also proud of him. It was palpable how painful it was for him to admit this, but that is the first step. In his case, he had been saying recovery through multiple relapses and attempts at rehab.

When he left, we felt excited for him because admission of one’s problem is the first important step to facing that life has become unmanageable under the influence.

Congrats, [name_omitted]!

“Heroin Doesn’t Exist Anymore”

I apparently have lived a sheltered and naïve life in many aspects, and we have all heard that fentanyl can be deadly, if ingesting, the equivalent of a grain of sand or two. However, I learned from one of the gentleman with whom my form does strong bond at rehab. That heroin doesn’t actually exist anymore, and what the addict is buying on the street is water down fentanyl. They water it down so it won’t kill their customers and they push fentanyl rather than heroin because it’s far cheaper since it’s not organically produced, which requires actual work and skill to produce it. What a mess!