during my rehab stent, several people were thrown out of the program because they broke rules that exist with great justification. It’s very sad when you see a crackhead who’s trying to get better that gets removed from a program only to be essentially put back on the streets and many begin to use immediately. fuck it! Fuck them! This is their fault and because I’m suffering I’m gonna show them by just going out, picking up the crack pipe or picking up the needle or picking up the drink. It was one particular case that will never leave my mind of a young woman , who is smart and beautiful and had such promise because she was also intelligent, but was addicted to crack. She was thrown out of three rehabs in the course of four months because she kept hooking up with people in the program, which is one of the most self-destructive and distracting things one can do while in a program. She was thrown out and immediately prostituted herself for crack, and ended up on the streets in the south end of Chicago beat up and robbed of everything she owned. She didn’t even know how she got there, but thankfully she found her way to the rehab that I chose , and stuck it out through the duration of the program. I will forever be worried about her because of the nature of crack, cocaine and heroin, and what a grip they hold on the attic for the duration of their lives.
this part of the experience brings up a serious ethical debate in my mind. As I understand the rules and why they exist you can also see how that person is going to end up right back in the same traps, so how is it right to throw them out? Well, there were a lot more people in rehab than this one young lady so the rest of us needed to feel safe and feel that we could be amongst others that follow the rules with intention. There was a guy who showed up one day at the rehab, and at his first AA meeting, made a joke out of it by talking about how long it’s been since he got laid. Not my words, his. luckily I did not attend that meeting because it would have destroyed my confidence in the safety that I am experiencing in meetings. When I heard what happened in the meeting, I cried like a baby because I needed this safety and this outlet. We all needed the safety and this outlet for it to be successful , that safety was removed from the group. Many of us would’ve shut down emotionally and stopped openly sharing our struggles, which is such a critical part of the recovery process. Ethically, I felt terrible for this person because he wasn’t a bad guy, but he also couldn’t be kryptonite to the group so he was invited to leave. Luckily, I heard that , he didn’t hit the crack pipe immediately, but this is another person I will forever worry about. We’re all humans and have our faults, but didn’t he deserve the same opportunity? No. He wasn’t ready for it but ethically, it was terrible to watch him to watch his back as he walked away to the car to leave. we all felt heavy sadness for him because we knew what could happen immediately and again, thankfully, he was doing all right the last time I heard. As I’ve said many times, on this blog, success rates are largely driven by the ability to pursue changes in many aspects of our lives, and going through exhausting, long-term efforts keeping sober and clean. I’m just glad I’m not the one that has to make the decision to throw somebody out because I’m not sure that my heart can handle that knowing that somebody could simply leave and die.