The alcoholic lacks self-awareness while imbibing and the disease often comes with anger at oneself which relates results in depression, and the expression of ones suffering on others, which is known as projection. Projection is awful, because you dump your problems onto to others, and make them feel terrible often without even realizing what you are doing and how it is hurting others, but it makes you feel a little bit better somehow. The alcoholic does not even have to be a mean person to hurt someone else, but often the drinking behaviors manifest outwardly in this type of destructive behavior.
Mindfulness, self-awareness and reflection on one’s feelings, are very effective in my case at reducing or completely eliminating projection onto others.
Unfortunately, it is the closest to us that bear the brunt of our projection, because we take for granted that they love us and they are there through the good and the bad. The ability to hold things together breaks down and alcoholics unwinds quite effectively.